Yuav ua li cas coj tus menyuam thaum muaj kev kub ntxhov 3 xyoos

2024 Tus sau: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 03:58

Nyob rau lub sijhawm no, txawm tias feem ntau cov menyuam yaus ntsiag to tuaj yeem cuam tshuam tantrums thiab ua phem rau cov neeg laus. Psychologist cov lus qhia yuav pab koj kov yeej lub sijhawm nyuaj yam tsis muaj cov hlab ntsha tsis tsim nyog.

Lub hnub nyoog 3 xyoos yog suav tias yog ib qho nyuaj tshaj plaws hauv lub neej ntawm niam txiv thiab menyuam yaus. Thaum lub sij hawm no, tus me nyuam tsim kev nkag siab ntawm nws tus kheej raws li ib tug nyias muaj nyias tus kheej. Tus menyuam yaus pib nquag xyuas qhov chaw ntawm nws lub peev xwm kawg, nws tuaj yeem cuam tshuam dab tsi. Tau ntsib nrog cov kev txwv ntawm nws lub siab nyiam, nws npau taws heev. Thiab nws tsis tuaj yeem hloov nws txoj kev xav mus rau ib yam dab tsi nthuav, raws li thaum yau: tus me nyuam xav tias npau taws tiag tiag vim txhua yam tsis mus raws li nws xav tau.

Thaum muaj kev kub ntxhov hauv 3 xyoos, cov menyuam yaus raug hloov pauv loj:

• Volitional qualities yog tsim - lub peev xwm mus cuag ib tug tus kheej, insist rau ib tug txiav txim. Tus me nyuam kawm qhia nws tus kheej hauv kev xav thiab kev ua, xaiv, tso siab rau nws txoj kev xav thiab kev ntshaw.
• Cov menyuam yaus tshawb nrhiav lawv lub zog thiab kev muaj peev xwm tawm tsam cov neeg laus. Tsim kom muaj kev nkag siab ntawm "qhov zoo thiab qhov phem", kawm txog cov ciam teb: thaum cov neeg laus ua siab tawv rau lawv cov kev txiav txim siab, thiab thaum lawv tuaj yeem hais rau lawv tus kheej.

Yuav ua li cas qhov teeb meem tshwm sim nws tus kheej 3 xyoo

Soviet psychologist Lev Vygotsky tau txheeb xyuas xya lub cim ntawm kev kub ntxhov.

1. Negativism … Tus menyuam muaj tus cwj pwm tsis zoo rau tus neeg laus qhov kev thov, txawm tias nws yog qhov nws xav tau.
2. Kev tawv ncauj … Nws hais rau nws tus kheej, thiab nws tseem ceeb heev rau nws kom ua tiav qhov no ntawm txhua tus nqi.
3. Obstinacy … Kev tsis mloog lus hauv tej yam me me thiab tej yam loj.
4. Kev tawm tsam … Tus me nyuam pib tawm tsam qhov nws tau ua dhau los ua siab ntev thiab tawm haujlwm.
5. Siab siab … Lub siab xav ua txhua yam ntawm lawv tus kheej, txawm tias cov menyuam yaus lub sijhawm rau qhov no tseem tsis txaus.
6. Depreciation … Tus menyuam yaus tuaj yeem rhuav tshem thiab rhuav tshem txhua yam uas nws nyiam (txawm nws nyiam cov khoom ua si), tuav thiab hu nws niam nws txiv npe.
7. Despotism … Nws xav kom txhua yam tshwm sim raws nraim li nws hais.

Nyob rau hauv lub neej tiag tiag, tag nrho cov no manifests nws tus kheej ib yam dab tsi zoo li no: tus me nyuam, uas tsuas yog nag hmo mloog lus hnav ris tsho, noj yuav luag txhua yam uas tau muab, calmly tsaug zog tom qab ib txwm rituals, pib sib cav txog dab tsi yog vim li cas. "Lub kaus mom tsis zoo li ntawd, pub kuv ntawm rab diav, Kuv yuav tsis tsaug zog hauv kuv lub txaj!" - thiab tsis muaj kev sib cav ntawm kev ua haujlwm.

Yog hais tias cov neeg laus hais rau lawv tus kheej, "hnyav artillery" yog siv. Tus me nyuam pib, qhov zoo tshaj plaws, qw thiab quaj, thiab qhov phem tshaj - sib ntaus, tom thiab pov txhua yam uas los ntawm tes.

Kuv yuav tsum hais tias feem ntau ntawm txoj kev no cov menyuam yaus tau txais lawv txoj kev. Qee tus neeg laus, tsis muaj peev xwm tiv taus qhov siab lossis tsis nkag siab yuav coj li cas, tso tseg lawv txoj haujlwm hauv kev cia siab tias tus menyuam yuav txo qis. Thiab qhov tseeb, kev thaj yeeb nyab xeeb yog rov qab los, tab sis raws nraim kom txog thaum lub sijhawm tom ntej ntawm kev sib txawv ntawm kev xav.

Thiab tam sim no tag nrho tsev neeg tau muab faib ua ob lub chaw pw hav zoov. Ib tug neeg xav tias "yuav tsum tau tsoo cov neeg zoo li no" vim tias "lawv tau zaum ntawm lawv lub caj dab", ib tug neeg hais rau tib neeg kom tsis txhob cuam tshuam tus cwj pwm. Thiab "tus cwj pwm" txuas ntxiv sim txhua tus kom muaj lub siab tawv thiab tib lub sijhawm taug kev tu siab thiab ntxhov siab, vim nws twv tias nws coj tus cwj pwm tsis zoo, tab sis nws tsis tuaj yeem ua dab tsi nrog nws tus kheej.

Yuav ua li cas pab koj tus menyuam kom dhau qhov kev kub ntxhov yooj yim dua

Qhia koj qhia kev npau taws kom raug

Ua ntej tshaj plaws, koj yuav tsum nkag siab tias qhov kev npau taws uas tuav cov menyuam yaus tsis yog lub zog ntawm kev tsaus ntuj, tab sis qhov kev xav zoo li qub. Nws (nrog rau kev tu siab, kev xyiv fab, ntshai, xav tsis thoob) peb tau txais los ntawm cov tsiaj. Thaum ntsib kev tsis lees paub lossis tsis kam lees nws lub siab nyiam, tus menyuam muaj kev npau taws thiab npau taws ib yam li tus Tsov, uas tus neeg sib tw sim tshem tawm cov nqaij los yog tsav nws tawm ntawm thaj chaw.

Cov neeg laus, tsis zoo li cov menyuam yaus, muaj peev xwm paub qhov kev npau taws thiab muaj peev xwm ua tau los yog qhia nws txoj hauv kev txaus. Thaum peb tus thawj coj tsa nws lub suab rau peb, peb kuj chim siab, tab sis yog peb txwv peb tus kheej thiab nyob hauv tsev hauv cov xim piav qhia rau peb cov neeg txheeb ze tias nws yog "tus neeg phem" lossis peb teb kev tsim kho hauv cov txheej txheem ntawm kev sib tham. Cov menyuam yaus tseem tsis tau muaj cov txheej txheem no - lawv tsuas yog tsim nyob rau theem hnub nyoog no nrog kev pab los ntawm cov neeg laus.

Lub algorithm yog raws li nram no:

1. Tos kom tus me nyuam nyob twj ywm. Nws tsis muaj txiaj ntsig los hais dab tsi thaum nws ntxhov siab los ntawm kev xav: nws tsis hnov koj.

2. Tom qab tus menyuam tau txias lawm, sau lub siab uas nws tab tom ntsib: Kuv pom koj npau taws heev (pom, chim siab).

3. Ua kom muaj kev sib raug zoo: "Thaum niam tsis muab qhov nws xav tau, nws npau taws heev." Nws yog qhov pom tseeb rau peb tias tus menyuam tau npau taws vim nws tsis tau muab cov khoom qab zib uas nws xav noj es tsis yog kua zaub. Rau nws, nws feem ntau zoo li yog qee yam kev quab yuam txeeb nws yam tsis muaj laj thawj, thiab nws tau dhau los ua "phem." Tshwj xeeb tshaj yog tias tsis piav qhia vim li cas nws npau taws, peb hais ib yam dab tsi zoo li: "Ugh, tus me nyuam phem dab tsi." Thaum cov neeg laus tsim kev sib raug zoo, nws yooj yim dua rau cov menyuam yaus kom nkag siab lawv tus kheej.

4. Qhia txog txoj kev npau taws uas tsim nyog: "Tom ntej no koj yuav tsis muab rab diav rau koj niam, tab sis hais tias: "Kuv npau taws rau koj!" Koj tseem tuaj yeem tsoo koj lub nrig ntawm lub rooj. " Qhov txawv ntawm qhov tshwm sim ntawm kev npau taws hauv txhua tsev neeg yog qhov sib txawv: rau qee qhov nws yog qhov tsim nyog los thwj lawv ob txhais taw, rau lwm tus nws tuaj yeem mus rau hauv lawv chav thiab pov cov khoom ua si rau ntawd. Koj tuaj yeem muaj qhov tshwj xeeb "lub rooj zaum ntawm kev npau taws". Txhua tus tuaj yeem zaum ntawm nws thiab ua siab ntev, thiab tom qab ntawd rov qab mus rau kev sib txuas lus.

Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb heev uas yuav tsum tau hais tias qhov no tsis yog kev rau txim. Yog tias koj muab ntawv thiab xaum tso rau hauv qhov chaw no, tus menyuam yuav muaj peev xwm qhia nws lub xeev hauv daim duab. Cov neeg laus lawv tus kheej muaj peev xwm, nyob rau hauv lub tshav kub ntawm kev sib ntaus sib tua rau lub tom ntej no txoj cai ntawm txhua txhua hnub, ua txhaum ntawm cov me nyuam, zaum ntawm lub rooj zaum thiab ua piv txwv, kos lawv cov khaus thiab hais tias: "Kuv npau taws npaum li cas thaum koj tsis mus pw. raws sijhawm!"

Txhais ciam teb

Cov menyuam yaus uas tsis tu ncua pib xav tias lawv tswj hwm lub ntiaj teb, thiab vim li no lawv tau ntxhov siab heev. Lawv yuav tsum nruj txhua lub sijhawm los tuav lub zog. Koj tsis tuaj yeem pleev xim lossis ua si ntawm no. Hauv zej zog, cov tyrants hauv tsev no tsis muaj kev vam meej, vim lawv tau siv rau qhov tseeb tias txhua yam nyob ib puag ncig lawv. Lawv pom tias nws nyuaj rau kev sib cuag nrog cov phooj ywg thiab xav tau kev saib xyuas tas li los ntawm tus kws qhia ntawv.

Lwm qhov siab tshaj plaws yog qhov hnyav tsuj ntawm txhua qhov tsis zoo tshwm sim. Lub ntsiab lus ntawm cov niam txiv hauv qhov no yog qhov yooj yim: tus menyuam yuav tsum "zoo" thiab ua raws li qhov xav tau. Qhov tshwm sim ntawm txoj kev no yog manifested nyob rau hauv ob txoj kev. Nyob rau hauv thawj rooj plaub, tus me nyuam yog silk nyob rau hauv tsev, tab sis nyob rau hauv kindergarten nws yog uncontrolled thiab txhoj puab heev. Hauv qhov thib ob, nws sim ua kom tau raws li qhov xav tau siab, qee zaus ua tsis tiav. Hauv kev tawg, nws cem nws tus kheej thiab feem ntau raug kev txom nyem hmo ntuj, enuresis, mob plab.

Qhov tseeb yog qhov chaw nyob nruab nrab. Yog hais tias ib tug neeg laus nkag siab tias qhov no yog ib tug natural theem ntawm kev loj hlob ntawm ib tug me nyuam, ces nws muaj peev xwm tuav tus txheeb ze nyob ntsiag to thiab nyob rau tib lub sij hawm hais rau nws tus kheej. Cov ciam teb nyuaj tau txais, teem rau hauv txoj kev muag muag.

Kuv yuav xa mus rau cov algorithm uas tau muab rau hauv phau ntawv "Children from Heaven" los ntawm John Grey:

1. Qhia kom meej tias koj xav tau dab tsi los ntawm koj tus menyuam: "Kuv xav kom koj sau cov khoom ua si thiab mus ntxuav." Heev feem ntau peb tsim peb cov lus indistinctly: "Tej zaum nws yog lub sij hawm mus pw?", "Saib, nws twb tsaus ntuj." Yog li, peb hloov lub luag haujlwm rau qhov kev txiav txim siab rau tus menyuam, thiab qhov tshwm sim yog kwv yees. Qee lub sij hawm txawm tias ib qho kev qhia meej meej ntawm peb cov kev xav tau txaus. Yog tias tsis yog, txav mus rau qhov khoom tom ntej.

2. Hais txog tus me nyuam txoj kev xav thiab ua kom muaj kev sib raug zoo: "Thiab, koj nyiam qhov kev ua si, thiab koj chim siab thaum koj yuav tsum ua kom tiav."Thaum peb ua li no, tus menyuam xav tias peb nkag siab nws, thiab qee zaum qhov no txaus los hloov nws tus cwj pwm.

3. Siv kev sib tham: "Yog tias koj mus rau chav dej tam sim no, koj tuaj yeem ua si lub nkoj pirate nyob ntawd / Kuv mam li nyeem koj ntev me ntsis." Qhov uas tus menyuam nyiam yog tau cog lus tseg, tiam sis tsis yuav khoom ua si lossis khoom qab zib. Peb feem ntau ua qhov ntxeev lus thiab hem: yog tias koj tsis ua raws li kuv hais, koj yuav poob. Tab sis kev tsim lub neej yav tom ntej zoo pab cov menyuam yaus kom dim ntawm cov txheej txheem uas lawv nkag rau hauv, kom nco ntsoov tias muaj lwm yam zoo siab.

Yog tias qhov ntawd tsuas yog, ces tus menyuam zoo siab spanks rau hauv chav dej. Tab sis yog tias tag nrho cov no tau pib los ntawm nws txhawm rau txhawm rau nrhiav seb leej twg yog tus thawj coj hauv tsev, ces ib tus tsis tuaj yeem ua yam tsis muaj cov theem hauv qab no.

4. Ua kom intonation: tshaj tawm koj qhov kev thov hauv lub suab nrov dua. Feem ntau peb pib nrog qhov no, thiab tom qab ntawd txhua yam hloov mus rau hauv kev tsuj xwb. Tab sis thawj peb lub ntsiab lus tseem ceeb heev, txwv tsis pub tus menyuam yuav tsis xav tias nws nkag siab. Nyob rau tib theem, koj tuaj yeem siv ib qho kev ua tau zoo tshaj plaws hu ua "Kuv suav rau peb."

5. Yog hais tias, txawm tias tom qab nce intonation, tus me nyuam txuas ntxiv mus, ces so. Nws yog ib qho tseem ceeb heev kom nkag siab tias qhov no tsis yog kev rau txim, tab sis yog ib qho kev ncua sij hawm kom ua siab ntev thiab txuas ntxiv kev sib txuas lus kom txaus. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, qhov no yog qhov kev xaiv ntawm ciam teb: tus menyuam muaj txoj cai rau nws txoj kev xav, kev xav, tab sis qhov kev txiav txim zaum kawg yog rau cov neeg laus. Txhua yam tau piav qhia nyob rau hauv no: "Kuv pom, peb tsis tuaj yeem pom zoo, yog li kev so tau tshaj tawm rau 3 feeb. Ob leeg koj thiab kuv yuav tsum ua siab ntev. " Tus me nyuam muaj hnub nyoog npaum li cas, ntau feeb nws yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws los npaj lub sij hawm tawm.

Hauv tsev, cov menyuam yaus raug coj mus rau qhov chaw nyab xeeb (ib chav uas tsis muaj cov khoom tawg tau). Lub qhov rooj kaw (lwm lub npe ntawm ciam teb), cov neeg laus nyob sab nraud thiab calmly qhia tias tshuav sijhawm npaum li cas. Koj yuav tsum tau npaj siab tias txhua yam tuaj yeem tshwm sim ntawm lwm sab. Lub sijhawm no, tsis tas yuav nkag mus rau hauv kev sib tham nrog tus menyuam, txwv tsis pub txhua yam tsuas yog rub mus. Tab sis ua tsaug rau qhov tseeb tias koj nyob sab nraum lub qhov rooj thiab ua tib zoo nco ntsoov tias tshuav pes tsawg feeb, nws nkag siab tias nws tsis raug tso tseg lossis raug rau txim. Thaum lub sij hawm so xaus, koj qhib qhov rooj thiab pib ntawm thawj qhov chaw.

Qhov ruaj khov thiab nkag siab tus me nyuam yog cov kev cai uas nws nyob, qhov ntau nws muaj rau kev muaj tswv yim thiab kev loj hlob. Maj mam, ua tsaug rau peb txoj kev siv zog, tus menyuam yuav pib nkag siab zoo rau nws tus kheej: dab tsi ua rau nws npau taws, dab tsi ua rau nws zoo siab, dab tsi ua rau nws tu siab, dab tsi ua rau nws chim siab. Nws kuj paub txog txoj hauv kev kom txaus qhia nws cov kev paub dhau los. Thaum muaj hnub nyoog 4 xyoos, nws tuaj yeem ua tsis tau tsuas yog lub cev qhia, tab sis kuj yog kos duab, thiab dubbing, thiab ua lub luag haujlwm. Thiab yog tias kev sib txuas lus txog cov teeb meem tsis sib haum xeeb tshwm sim hauv kev sib tham thiab kev lees paub ntawm tus menyuam txoj kev xav, tom qab ntawd rau lub neej nws yuav tsim lub peev xwm los tiv thaiv nws txoj cai, ua tiav nws cov hom phiaj thiab tib lub sijhawm hwm txoj cai thiab kev xav ntawm lwm tus.