Yuav ua li cas paub thiab tiv thaiv kev ua phem ua phem

2024 Tus sau: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 03:58

Kev npau taws tuaj yeem ua rau cov ntaub ntawv coj txawv txawv yog tias tsis tau nthuav tawm.

Muaj yuav luag txhua tus neeg hauv koj ib puag ncig uas ua rau muaj kev tso dag, tsis quav ntsej koj qhov kev thov thiab tshaj tawm tias txhua yam nyob rau hauv kev txiav txim, txawm hais tias qhov no nyob deb ntawm rooj plaub. Tus cwj pwm no hu ua passive-aggressive. Peb yuav qhia koj seb nws tshwm sim li cas thiab yuav ua li cas yog tias koj ntsib nws. Zoo, lossis yog tias koj tus kheej coj tus cwj pwm zoo ib yam.

Passive aggression yog dab tsi thiab nws tuaj qhov twg

Lo lus no tau tsim los ntawm tus kws kho mob hlwb William Menninger thaum Ntiaj Teb Tsov Rog II. Nws tau soj ntsuam cov tub rog tus cwj pwm thiab pom tau tias qee tus ntawm lawv tau khiav tawm ntawm kev txiav txim. Tab sis lawv tsis ua nws qhib (uas tsis yog qhov xav tsis thoob), tab sis siv cov txheej txheem veiled. Piv txwv li, lawv ua si rau lub sijhawm, ua rau pom kev tsis txaus siab, lossis ua haujlwm tsis zoo - yog li ntawd lwm zaus lawv yuav tsis tiv tauj.

Tam sim no passive aggression yog suav hais tias yog tus cwj pwm uas ib tug neeg tsis qhia kev npau taws, tab sis disguises nws nyob rau hauv ntau txoj kev pom zoo. Piv txwv li, siv sarcasm, sabotage, antics, manipulation, thiab hais txog. Feem ntau cov neeg mob hnyav heev tsis paub tias vim li cas lawv coj li no, thiab tsis nkag siab tias qhov no tuaj yeem ua rau muaj qhov tshwm sim.

Meanwhile, passive aggression tsawg kawg yuav ua rau lub siab xav ntawm lwm tus. Thiab nyob rau hauv cov xwm txheej hnyav - txhawm rau rhuav tshem kev sib raug zoo lossis txo cov khoom lag luam ntawm lub tuam txhab. Thiab, ntawm chav kawm, tus cwj pwm zoo li no cuam tshuam rau tus neeg ua phem rau nws tus kheej: nws ua rau nws tsis zoo siab, tsis tso cai rau nws tsim, qhia nws txoj kev xav, tsim kev sib raug zoo.

Psychologists ntseeg hais tias lub ntsiab yog vim li cas rau passive aggression yog kev kawm.

Yog hais tias ib tug me nyuam raug txwv tsis pub qhia kev npau taws, txaj muag rau kev npau taws, thiab thov kom nws nyob twj ywm tam sim ntawd, nws yuav nyuaj heev rau nws hais lus qhib siab txog nws txoj kev xav.

Lwm yam ua rau muaj kev ntxhov siab thiab mob hlwb xws li kev ntxhov siab, ADHD, kev puas siab puas ntsws bipolar, schizophrenia, thiab lwm yam. Tau kawg, qee zaum muaj xwm txheej thaum peb zoo siab tshaj tawm peb txoj kev xav, tab sis peb yuav tsum kaw peb lub qhov ncauj (piv txwv li, vim ntshai poob haujlwm). Ces tus npau taws manifests nws tus kheej nyob rau hauv ib tug passive daim ntawv.

Yuav ua li cas passive aggression zoo li

Psychologists txheeb xyuas ntau yam tseem ceeb. Thiab ntawm no yog cov kab lus thiab kev ua uas lawv tshwm sim.

1. "Yog lawm"

Passive-aggressive neeg yuav tsis ncaj ncees hais tias lawv npau taws los yog ua phem rau. Tab sis lawv yuav qhia nws nrog tag nrho lawv cov tsos: zoo li hma, sigh, poke, purse lawv daim di ncauj, tuav txaus ntshai nres, thiab hais txog. Tib lub sijhawm, yog tias koj nug dab tsi tshwm sim, hauv kev teb koj yuav hnov "tsis muaj dab tsi" thiab "txhua yam nyob rau hauv kev txiav txim." Tab sis nws yuav hais nyob rau hauv ib tug txias los yog offended tone.

2. "Ua li koj xav tau"

Yog hais tias ib tug passive-aggressive txawm li cas los pib tham txog dab tsi txhawj txog nws, nws yuav tsis qhia ib qho kev tsis txaus siab ncaj qha, nws yuav tsis twv kom qhib confrontation. Hloov chaw, nws yuav siv cov lus xws li: “Tau kawg! Tsis muaj leej twg txhawj txog kuv txoj kev xav!”, “Yog, yog, tam sim no txhua yam meej rau kuv”, “Ua raws li koj paub”, “Kuv tau txiav txim siab”.

Nws kuj tuaj yeem, piv txwv li, qhia ib zaj dab neeg nrog cov lus qhia lossis tshaj tawm cov lus muaj txiaj ntsig ntawm kev sib raug zoo - los qhia tias nws ntxhov siab thiab tsis zoo siab npaum li cas. Los yog, ntawm qhov tsis sib xws, nws yuav tsis quav ntsej koj: hla koj cov xov tooj thiab cov lus, zoo li yog tias yuam kev "tsis nco qab" txog koj qhov kev thov, ua piv txwv tsis pom lossis hnov koj hais. Qee lub sij hawm lub hom phiaj ntawm tag nrho cov no yog los provoke koj. Yog li ntawd koj tus kheej pib qhov kev tsis sib haum xeeb qhib thiab tus neeg aggressor passive thaum kawg muaj lub sijhawm raug cai los qhia txhua yam nws xav.

3. "Tsis txhob chim, kuv hlub"

Yog tus neeg zoo li no tsis nyiam koj, nws yuav tsis qhia rau koj paub, nws yuav tsis nrog koj tham, nws yuav tsis sib cav thiab chim siab. Nws yuav ua txuj tias txhua yam nyob rau hauv kev txiav txim. Thiab nws yuav cuam tshuam kev tsis txaus siab rau lwm txoj hauv kev.

Piv txwv li, nyob rau hauv daim ntawv ntawm sarcasm, banter, mob siab rau tso dag, los yog kev qhuas uas ua rau koj txoj kev xav.

"Kev hnav khaub ncaws ua rau koj slim, nws yuav luag tsis pom tias koj tau zoo lawm!", "Rau ib tug poj niam, koj tsav tsheb zoo heev." Qhov no yog tus qauv coj cwj pwm tsis zoo, vim tias nws nyuaj heev los teb rau cov kev tawm tsam no: yog tias koj muab cov lus tsis txaus siab, koj tuaj yeem ua rau tsis zoo thiab tsis muaj kev lom zem.

4. “Poob qhov hnyav? Nov yog ncuav mog qab zib rau koj"

Lwm daim ntawv ntawm kev ua phem ua phem yog sim tiv thaiv koj ntawm kev ua tiav koj lub hom phiaj. Koj qhia kuv tias koj ua raws li koj cov zaub mov thiab xav kom poob phaus, thiab hnub tom qab koj tau mob siab rau cov ncuav qab zib. Koj yuav mus ua haujlwm thiab koj tau cuam tshuam txhua tsib feeb rau qhov tsis tseem ceeb.

5. "Kuv tsis nco qab lawm"

Cov neeg tsis txaus ntseeg tuaj yeem cuam tshuam lawv lub luag haujlwm thiab txawm cuam tshuam nrog lwm tus. Thiab qhov no tsuas yog vim tias nws nyuaj rau lawv los nthuav qhia kev tsis pom zoo lossis tsis txaus siab.

Piv txwv li, koj tab tom ua haujlwm ntawm ib qhov project loj, thiab hais lus txhua tus neeg koom tes pom zoo rau ob qho haujlwm thiab cov sijhawm kawg. Thiab ces muaj ib tug neeg uas ib txwm lig, tsis nco qab ib yam dab tsi, ua nws txoj hauj lwm phem heev, nkim sij hawm, yws yws, cuam tshuam lwm tus.

Nws yog qhov ua tau heev uas qhov tseeb nws tsis nyiam qhov project no, tab sis qhov xwm txheej tsis pub nws tsis kam.

Cov cwj pwm zoo sib xws tuaj yeem tshwm sim nws tus kheej hauv lwm qhov xwm txheej. Qee cov neeg hauv tsev neeg tsis xav ntxuav cov tais diav thiab ua qhov phem heev - kom lwm zaus lawv tsis nug nws txog nws. Tus menyuam kawm ntawv tsis ua homework rau tej yam kev kawm vim tus xibfwb tsis hwm nws. Lwm yam

Tau kawg, kev tsis tu ncua yog qhov tseem ceeb hauv txhua qhov piv txwv no. Yog hais tias ib tug neeg tsis ua hauj lwm raws sij hawm los yog ua ib tug phem tso dag ib zaug, qhov no tsis txhais hais tias nws npau taws rau ib yam dab tsi los yog nws tsis nyiam koj.

Yuav ua li cas teb rau passive aggression

Cov kws tshaj lij qhia kom tsis txhob muaj kev sib cav sib ceg, tsis txhob sim ua phem lossis thuam ib tus neeg. Qhov zoo tshaj plaws uas koj tuaj yeem ua tau yog tham nrog tus neeg ua phem rau qhov nws ntshai heev, uas yog, nws txoj kev xav.

• Qhia rau peb txog koj qhov kev soj ntsuam. Koj tuaj yeem pom zoo kawg nkaus tias koj tus interlocutor tsis txaus siab rau ib yam dab tsi, nws txhawj xeeb thiab ntxhov siab rau koj, koj xav nkag siab vim li cas.
• Xav txog qhov laj thawj. Feem ntau, ib tug neeg uas muaj kev ntxhov siab yuav tsis lees paub txhua yam thiab yuav tsis lees tias nws npau taws. Yog li ntawd, nws tsis muaj txiaj ntsig los nug dab tsi tshwm sim. Yog tias koj muaj cov qauv ntawm vim li cas koj tus neeg sib tham tsis zoo siab, hais li ntawd thiab qhia meej seb koj qhov kev xav puas yog. “Kuv tau ua haujlwm ntau dhau los thiab rov los tsev lig. Kuv xav tias koj chim rau kuv, tab sis koj tsis xav tham txog nws. Kuv hais yog lawm)?" Yog tias lawv tsis pom zoo nrog koj, xav txog lwm yam kev xaiv. Sim kom tus neeg tawm mus rau hauv kev sib tham qhib.
• Qhia daws qhov teeb meem. Qhia peb seb koj npaj ua dab tsi los daws qhov teeb meem. Thiab sim tuaj rau qhov kev pom zoo.

Yuav ua li cas yog tias koj passive-aggressive

1. Sim nkag siab koj tus kheej

Tom qab kev ua phem ua qias - sarcasm, tso dag, procrastination - dag npau taws lossis kev chim siab uas koj txwv koj tus kheej kom nthuav tawm. Nkag mus rau hauv koj tus kheej thiab nrhiav seb koj (lossis ntawm leej twg) koj npau taws, vim li cas koj thiaj ntshai kev tsis sib haum xeeb thiab tsis cia koj tus kheej los qhia koj tus kheej txoj kev xav.

2. Cia koj tus kheej npau taws

lees tias koj npau taws. lees tias qhov no yog ib qho kev xav zoo tag nrho, tsis txhob txwv nws. Nws yog qhov ua tau kom muaj kev npau taws, tab sis tsis txhob txwv nws. Qhov no tuaj yeem ua rau muaj kev nyuaj siab thiab kev ntxhov siab.

3. Tham txog koj qhov kev txhawj xeeb

Nov yog ib txoj hauv kev zoo tshaj plaws los qhia koj txoj kev xav thiab cia lawv mus. Yog lawm, rau cov neeg siv los khaws txhua yam rau lawv tus kheej, kev ncaj ncees tuaj yeem nyuaj heev. Yog li ntawd, tej zaum nws yuav tsim nyog los qhia qhov koj xav hais ua ntej, thiab txawm xyaum ua hauv tsev nyob rau pem hauv ntej ntawm daim iav.

Tsis txhob tawm tsam tus interlocutor, ua kom raug, tsis txhob mus thuam.

Siv cov lus ntawm tus kheej: tham txog koj txoj kev xav, tab sis tsis txhob cem koj tus nrog sib ntaus. "Kuv npau taws heev thaum kuv yuav tsum siv sijhawm hmo ntuj ib leeg", "Nws chim kuv tias kuv tsis mloog." Yog tias qhov kev sib tham no ua rau koj ntshai heev, koj tuaj yeem tham txog koj txoj kev xav hauv tsab ntawv.

4. Kawm Qhia Kev Xav

Qee zaum nws tsis tuaj yeem hais ncaj qha txog koj tus cwj pwm. Los yog koj tseem tsis tau npaj rau nws. Tab sis qhov no kuj tsis yog vim li cas kom npau taws thiab chim siab rau koj tus kheej. Sim qhia lawv hauv txoj hauv kev uas yuav tsis ua rau leej twg: khaws ib phau ntawv, sau ntawv rau koj cov neeg ua txhaum cai (koj tsis tas yuav xa lawv), ua si kis las, tham txog koj cov kev paub nrog phooj ywg.