Dab tsi yog qhov muaj txiaj ntsig zoo thiab nws tiv thaiv peb li cas

2024 Tus sau: Malcolm Clapton | [email protected]. Kawg hloov kho: 2023-12-17 03:58

"Tsis txhob ntsia nws, txhua yam yuav zoo!" - Cov kab lus zoo li no tsis hais txog kev cia siab, tab sis tsis txhob muaj teeb meem thiab tsis lees txais kev xav.

Dab tsi yog toxic positivity

Kev hu rau kev xav zoo yog feem ntau to taub yuam kev thiab tag nrho lub tswv yim raug txo rau cov lus hais tsis zoo: "Tsis muaj dab tsi txaus ntshai tshwm sim", "Koj yuav tsum zoo siab, vim tias muaj ntau yam kev zoo siab hauv koj lub neej!", "Kev xav tsis zoo nyiam cov xwm txheej tsis zoo., thiab koj xa cov teeb liab raug rau lub Ntiaj Teb !” Psychologists hu qhov no mus kom ze toxic positivity, thiab nws tsis ua rau ib yam dab tsi zoo.

Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, kev xav zoo tiag tiag coj cov txiaj ntsig, piv txwv li, nws txo qis kev ntxhov siab, pab ntseeg koj tus kheej thiab kawm cov txuj ci tshiab, thiab txo qhov kev pheej hmoo ntawm kev tsim cov kab mob plawv. Yog li ntawd, nws tsim nyog paub qhov txawv ntawm ib hom kev zoo ntawm lwm tus.

Yuav ua li cas toxic positivity manifests nws tus kheej thiab qhov twg nws los ntawm

Koj tuaj yeem paub nws los ntawm cov lus hauv qab no:

• Txo qhov ntsuas qhov teeb meem: "Zoo, xav txog nws, lawv raug rho tawm haujlwm! Tsis tas yuav dai koj lub qhov ntswg, kuv yuav nrhiav txoj haujlwm tshiab sai sai!”
• Simplification ntawm qhov teeb meem: "Tsis txhob txhawj!", "Nyob thiab xav zoo!"
• Kev tsis lees paub rau txhua yam kev phem uas tshwm sim: "Kuv txawj ntse heev, tab sis kuv tsis tau xeem dhau, vim tus kws qhia ntawv tsis nyiam kuv."
• Hloov cov kev daws teeb meem mus rau qee qhov kev paub daws teeb meem: "Txhua yam yuav ua tiav qee yam, koj yuav pom!", "Koj tsuas yog ntseeg qhov zoo, thiab txhua yam yuav los ntawm nws tus kheej!".
• Hloov lub luag haujlwm tag nrho rau qhov tshwm sim ntawm tus neeg: "Txhua yam nyob hauv koj txhais tes!", "Koj tsuas yog yuav tsum tau sim thiab ua haujlwm hnyav, ces txhua yam yuav ua tiav."

Peb coj li no vim hais tias ntawm kev tiv thaiv mechanism ntawm lub hlwb: peb instinctively xav ua laj kab peb tus kheej tawm ntawm cov xwm txheej phem, mus nkaum los ntawm kev xav tsis zoo. Thiab tseem tsis tau peb tsuas yog tsis paub txhawb peb tus kheej lossis lwm tus thiab tsis txhob xav ntau dhau txog seb puas muaj qee yam tom qab cov lus hais.

Dab tsi toxic positivity ua rau

Koj txwv koj tus kheej kom muaj kev xav

Nrog cov lus no, koj thaiv koj txoj kev xav tiag tiag. Koj thawb qhov mob, npau taws, chim siab, xav tau thiab kev poob siab tob dua thiab hloov lawv nrog cov duab los qhia zoo. Qhov no tsis ploj mus yam tsis tau tso tseg: tsis quav ntsej txog kev xav tiag tiag ua rau peb tsis zoo siab thiab ua rau muaj kev nyuaj siab.

Koj muab nqi rau lwm tus neeg txoj kev xav thiab teeb meem

Yog hais tias ib tug neeg yws txog ib yam dab tsi, nws xav hnov, lees paub nws txoj kev xav thiab empathize. Cov lus ntxhib zoo li "Tsis txhob xav txog tej yam phem", "Txhua yam yuav ua tiav" yuav tsis nplij nws. Lawv tsuas yog raug yuam kom ntseeg tias lawv tus kheej cov kev paub dhau los thiab cov teeb meem tsis muaj teeb meem, tsis muaj leej twg nkag siab nws thiab feem ntau nws yog qhov tsis ncaj ncees lawm, vim nws muaj kev xav zoo txog qhov tsis txaus ntseeg.

Koj zam kev daws qhov teeb meem

Xav txog qhov xwm txheej: ib tug neeg raug xam phaj, tab sis nws tsis raug ntiav. Nws tuaj yeem txheeb xyuas vim li cas qhov no tshwm sim, txhim kho cov txuj ci uas nws tsis muaj, mus kawm. Lossis nws tuaj yeem yoj tes thiab hais tias: “Txhua yam yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws! Kuv zoo nkauj, thiab tus tswv haujlwm tsuas yog neeg ruam xwb."

Muaj lub caij nyoog uas tus neeg sib tw yeej yog tus kws tshaj lij tshwj xeeb, thiab nws tus thawj coj muaj peev xwm tsis ua tau zoo heev. Tab sis nws tsis tuaj yeem txiav txim siab tias ib tus neeg muaj chaw loj hlob, tab sis vim yog tus cwj pwm zoo rau qhov teeb meem, nws yuav tsis ua qhov no.

Koj tuaj yeem tau bogged hauv kev sib raug zoo tsis zoo

"Qhov no tsis yog tag nrho ntawm kev ua phem, nws yog tus neeg zoo, koj yuav tsum zam txim rau nws", "Nws muaj lub siab zoo tshaj plaws, tsuas yog tus cwj pwm nyuaj, nws yog qhov zoo dua tsis txhob tuav kev npau taws thiab ua kom muaj kev thaj yeeb." Yog tias koj raug mob, ua zoo rau qhov xwm txheej (uas yog, tsis quav ntsej nws) tuaj yeem raug nqi. Koj yuav zam txim rau cov neeg thab plaub tas li, mus ntsib lawv, hais koj tus kheej tias txhua yam zoo, thiab koj yuav raug daig hauv kev sib raug zoo tsis zoo uas yuav ua rau koj tus kheej tsis txaus siab thiab mob hlwb.

Yuav ua li cas kom zoo yam tsis muaj tshuaj lom

Tsis txhob thaiv kev xav

Psychologists ntseeg tias koj yuav tsum tso cai rau koj tus kheej kom xav tsis zoo. Cov kev xav tsis zoo yog qhov qub, nws tsis muaj txiaj ntsig los txwv lawv - koj tuaj yeem lees txais, tso cai rau koj tus kheej kom paub txog lawv thiab lees tias koj muaj txhua txoj cai rau lawv. Cov txheej txheem no tseem hu ua kev xav validation.

Hauv kev sib raug zoo nrog lwm tus neeg, txoj hauv kev no kuj ua haujlwm. Yog hais tias ib tug neeg yws txog ib yam dab tsi, thov txim rau tus neeg ntawd, qhia rau lawv tias qhov xwm txheej tsis txaus siab tiag tiag, yog li nws tsis xav tsis thoob tias nws npau taws lossis chim siab. Nyob ntawd, muab kev pab, qhia txog koj qhov kev paub zoo sib xws, yog tias koj muaj. Tsis txhob ua rau nws luag ntxhi, yuam kom nrhiav lub sijhawm zoo uas nws tsis pom lawv, thiab faus nws txoj kev xav tiag tiag.

Tsom ntsoov rau kev ua

Tom qab koj tau tso koj tus cwj pwm txawv txawv, xav txog qhov xwm txheej yuav qhia koj li cas, koj tuaj yeem tau txais txiaj ntsig los ntawm nws, thiab koj tuaj yeem ua dab tsi los daws nws. Txoj kev no hu ua proactive. Nws ntseeg tau tias tus kws kho mob Austrian thiab yav dhau los tus neeg raug kaw ntawm Nazi concentration camp Viktor Frankl thawj zaug tau hais txog nws hauv nws phau ntawv "Ib tug txiv neej nrhiav lub ntsiab lus." Thiab tom qab ntawd lub tswv yim ntawm proactivity tau khaws thiab nrov los ntawm lwm cov kws kho kev puas siab puas ntsws, nrog rau cov kws qhia thiab cov kws tshaj lij tsim khoom xws li Stephen Covey.

Yog hais tias ib tug neeg yog proactive, nws tsis plam mus rau hauv negativity ("Kuv tsis ntiav, kuv yog ib tug poob, kuv yuav tsis ua tiav"), tab sis nws kuj tsis nkaum qab lub ntsiab lus thiab unproductive positivity ("Tsis muaj dab tsi! Txhua yam yuav twv yuav raug hu ua haujlwm!”). Nws lees tias muaj ib yam dab tsi phem tshwm sim, tab sis ua lub luag haujlwm tsim nyog thiab tsom ntsoov rau qhov kev ua: “Yog lawm, lawv tsis coj kuv, nws tu siab. Tab sis tam sim no kuv paub tias nws yuav siv li cas los kawm kom tau kuv txoj haujlwm npau suav. Nyob rau yav tom ntej no kuv yuav nrhiav kev kawm lossis kev xyaum ua haujlwm thiab pib kawm. " Txoj hauj lwm no txhawb txoj kev xav, muab lub zog thiab pab nrhiav kev daws teeb meem txawm tias muaj teeb meem nyuaj.